Around here Saturdays are all about opening and expanding our minds to the “stranger” sides of sex and sexuality, which means, No Kink Shaming! If you have heard the term kink shame, but don’t really understand exactly what that entails, then read on to make sure you are not accidently kink shaming your partner.

What is Kink Shaming

Kink shaming is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, embarrassing someone for their sexual preferences, or insinuating something is wrong with them because their sexual desires don’t reside in the boundaries of what you consider normal. This could be about a fetish, a kink, a preference, a history of certain behaviors, or even just an openness or willingness to try something that the other person considers unconventional. This kind of thing can play out in all different ways. It could be as simple as making fun of your friend for a hookup story with an unexpected detail in it, or it could be your long-term significant other trying to make you feel dirty for asking for something new in bed. No matter how the shaming takes place it can be incredibly demeaning and permanently damaging to the relationship.

Why it’s bad

Kink shaming can create negative emotional consequences. It can cause the person being shamed to question the validity of their desires, which can exacerbate any lingering questions of self-worth, depression or anxiety that the receiver already has about their sexuality and identity. When we normalize kink-shaming and general sex-negative attitudes, people grow up feeling ashamed of desires they cannot control. Embrace the notion that everyone is different, and that having unique or non-traditional sexual interests does not mean something is wrong with you.

Around here we are kink positive, embrace the freakier sides of yourself (as long as they are legal and consensual). Come back next Saturday for more strange sex adventures and you’re sure to find your kink in no time!