If you are ready to give rough sex a shot but aren’t quite ready to make it hurt, we are here to help. Before you even get started you need to have a talk with your partner. It is not only essential, it also actually makes it much easier while you are experimenting with rougher sex, because you know you have limits and boundaries in place that you’ll both respect. Having that peace of mind can make it easier to enjoy yourself and give your undivided attention to your pleasure and satisfaction. Once your limits and safe word are set you are ready to go!

Set your base line

Harder and softer are two things that are up for some serious interpretation so make sure to work together to figure out what your baseline feels like with each other that way you both clearly know what way things are going to go when you say harder or softer. You can do this with all things from penetration to spankings. Figure out what your “normal” is so that when you ask for more, or harder, you won’t receive to much or to little.

A few things to try

If you are unsure where to even start with rougher sex, try hair pulling spanking or base level bondage until you learn what really does it for you. Ask them to tie your wrists above your head and do you missionary style or if you are really trying to amp things up to do you against the wall. You could try adding in spankings during doggy style or tugging your hair back to put your head at a better angle for oral.

Don’t hold your tongue

If your partner cares about you chances are they are going to hold back at first out of fear of hurting you, don’t be afraid to tell them they can go harder. You will know when it’s right! You will also know when it isn’t right, don’t worry about saying stop or softer. You may like the idea of a spanking but not the actual sensations, its okay to change your mind! Boundaries aren’t set in stone you can add to your “hell no” list any time you want.

One last note don’t forget the lube! Just because you may not normally need it doesn’t mean that rougher sex will be the same, better to be safe than feel like sandpaper friction.