Sex in the abstract is sexy, orgasms especially are supposed to be toe curling blissful experiences. However more often than not perfectly achieved orgasms are just not possible. The result is often awkward, messy, and a really great story. Here are some women who willingly took us along for the ride on their most unsexy sexual experiences.
“My boyfriend loves to spoon me and then start having sex with me from behind. Cute, in theory, but the problem is I can hardly ever keep his penis inside me—it’s such an awkward angle! So what I do is I adjust myself so I’m really hunched over, almost curled up in a c-shaped ball, and I just stick my butt straight back into his goods. One time I thought about what we would look like from an aerial perspective and I pretty much laughed out loud. Why is sex so awkward sometimes?” —Allie, 29
Tropical Slip n Slide
“I can orgasm during regular sex, don’t get me wrong, but I find that my orgasms are extra great when I use coconut oil. My partner and I spread it all over each other, and something about the slipperiness plus the exotic smell really puts me over the edge. The problem, though, is that it’s actually really messy. We end up getting oil all over our sheets and on random pieces of furniture that we accidentally touch before we shower off. Plus, we end up sliding around all over the place, so I feel very uncoordinated. But even though it’s not super graceful, the orgasm is amazing!” —Celia, 30
“After we have sex in missionary or whatever else for a little bit, I have to get on top, and lie completely horizontally on my guy’s stomach. Then, I basically have to just grind on top of him in a small circle in silence until I climax—it’s so anti-climactic! No screaming, no dramatic butt swivels, no nothing. It’s like I’m a silent Buddha and all of the sudden I reach the golden light, with no documented ecstasy in between.” —Jessie, 29
“Sometimes, when I feel like I’m close, I have to hold my breath. It’s like I’m afraid of disturbing it and scaring it away, so I try to be as motionless as possible. Then when I finally do orgasm, I’m so out of breath that I’m panting like a wolfhound.” —Chloe, 28
Do you have any awkward orgasm experiences? We would love to know all about them in the comments below!