Big, Bad, Insanely Gross Boner Mishap Stories

gross boner mishaps

In some cases, bigger just really isn’t better. Like in the following, ghastly stories we’ve compiled from the depths of adult internet forums… The bigger the boner can often mean the bigger & grosser the problems in the bedroom…

These stories are not for the faint of heart.

You’ve been warned.


Tonsillitis

big boner issues

“I invited a guy over for a blow job. He whipped it out, and that man was packing what I was craving: thicker than the circumference of my wrist and at least eight inches! I was doing the deed, and he began face-f*cking me. He pulled his cock out of my mouth, and it was covered in my blood. He literally destroyed my throat!”


It’s a Boy!

big penis problems

“I hooked up with a guy who had the most enormous penis I’d ever seen. Rather than chickening out, I grabbed the lube and attempted to make it fit. I have dyspareunia, a condition that makes sex very painful, and his dick ended up ripping the lower part of my vagina, a la giving birth-style. I had to have an episiotomy, which meant stitches from my vagina to my ass.”


Those are the guest towels

big penis not always better

“My ex and I were having sex, missionary. I went to shift the angle of my hips at the exact moment he broke rhythm and gave me a surprise, extra hard and fast thrust. This completely destroyed my perineum. I lived with my grandma at the time and I couldn’t get the tear to stop bleeding. We were freaking out, so I went into the living room, holding the bloody towel over my crotch and asked grandma what to do. She was more concerned that I had stained one of the good hand towels.”


Wardrobe Malfunction

Wardrobe Malfunction

“Years ago I met up with a guy in an empty cornfield. His dick was almost nine inches and thick. Neither of us had condoms or lube, so we foolishly just used spit. A few minutes later, he finished and pulled out. That’s when I noticed the bloody, shitty jizz that was dripping off his dick and down my legs. We didn’t bring anything to clean up with, so we used my underwear. He thanked me and took off. I went to a Walmart a few blocks away and bought new shorts and underwear, and changed in the restroom. When I got home, my mom complimented me on my new shorts.”

Be careful with those big boners folks.

One thought on “Big, Bad, Insanely Gross Boner Mishap Stories”

  1. After reading this Ouch comes to mind. I have had a big problem like this before but mine was not that serious. Thank Goodness! My problem being exposed to a big cock was just being really stiff and walking a bit different which some friends of mine just happen to notice. And I will say with every step that I took even though it was a stiff step I was smiling.

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